“You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.”
I want to believe that I am an optimistic person. I think I am lighthearted and I try to make every day fun and full of laughter. I love singing and apparently dancing and have been asked if I was a theatre major in college… Crazy I may be, but I actually can’t help it, it is just who I am. I don’t even have time to say I don’t care, because I am not even thinking, I am just doing ME.
My husband tends to be the glass is half empty kind of a guy. I never really understood why. With every situation or opportunity presented, he always brings up the negative, the down side, I guess you could say playing the devil’s advocate. I truly don’t think he realizes that he does this. He said… “I have had a lot of disappointment and heartache in my life and I’m not used to looking at the bright side.” Knowing his life’s journey, I understood, but we both try and remind ourselves to be positive.
I have found myself through the years getting entangled in drama, and negativity, gossip and quick judgement, and it was draining the light inside me. I am not a gossipy person, nor do I see the worst in people. I was becoming someone I wasn’t, and the negative energy was becoming mine. We all know life is short, and it is true, but it is also fast and crazy and we often fly round and round in our hamster wheel. I have a lot of s*** on my plate, more than others, less than some, but it’s a lot. I can handle a lot. They say god only gives you what you can handle, that special people are given special kids. There are times where I find myself wondering if I was given more than I can handle. It is a breaking point, a point I know I have to let tears roll down my cheeks and take some deep breaths. I push the feelings of doubt that I am not a good parent to the side, pick myself up and continue being the best mom and person I know how to be.
With the s*** on my plate, I have learned that what I have is all I can take. I have rid myself of toxins in my life, both internally and externally. My body is clean, my mind refreshed and my heart open. I have gotten over the FOMO moments, realizing I can pick and choose where I spend my time and who I spend it with, and that is okay. I only have so much of myself to give, and so much time to offer. I get to choose. I get to make the decision who is deserving of my friendship and who I want to invest my time, heart and energy into. I don’t think it is conceded to think one needs to be deserving of me, we should all know we are special, unique with our own gifts to share. I am always humbled and and honored when friends feel like they can share with me, that I am safe and can be empathetic to situations. I do not take for granted the friendships that I have, I treasure them. I have made the choice to surround myself with beautiful and positive people, who love and believe in me. My life is rich and continues to keep me on my toes and I am always inspired by those around me.